Addictions

I don't care what anyone says, we all have some sort of addictions. Clearly, some are worse than others. For me, my addicitons change with time.

I am definitely addicted to cigarettes. My husband and I did quit for 18 months, but we slipped up two years ago and fell right back into it. We are each other's own enemy because although we support each other...it backfires because we succeed and fail together. Unfortunatley, I was not able to quit smoking during my pregnancy. I felt and still feel an immense amount of guilt over it. I just try to remember that there are much worse things I could have done. I am hoping we will quit again one day. For now we smoke outside or in the garage to spare our son & the baby.

Caffeine is another downfall for me. I used to drink coffee or soda all the time and even began to like some energy drinks. I did give this up, and I still have not fallen totally into it since giving birth. I drink a lot of coffee now, but it is decaf (which I learned to like). I have found myself caving in to other forms of caffeine more though.

Who doesn't love chocolate? I am sure there is someone out there. This addiction seems to come and go. Sometimes I won't touch it, and there are times like right now where I devour anything in sight. I think it is worse when I am stressed.

Tritowers and Bejeweled are a couple of computer games I could lose myself in for hours. Usually it happens while I am doing something else like reading email. I have very little patience waiting for things to upload, so I will open a game and play in the interim. I am also determined to knock my husband's one score off the top ten- I have no idea why, but it drives me to play over and over.

My newest one is baby smiles, fingers and feet. I mean, who doesn't melt at a baby's smile or think their tiny parts are adorable. It is pure heaven though when they come from your own child. I spend so much time trying to pull a wide-mouthed grin from my little girl. She smiles more each day now as she gets older. I am nearly obsessed with her tiny feet. I play with them all the time and marvel at how she moves them and curls her toes around things. I think this is in part because I didn't have that experience with my son. Since he was born with club feet, his more resembled little fists. And he has never been able to move them or his toes. His spina bifida is not as severe as some other kids, but his feet were never like a "normal" baby's. I dress her in shoes and slippers all the time too. I could never do that with him.

I am sure I have other addictions or things that I either yearn for and become cranky without or simply cannot live without.